Do you find yourself regretting the small stuff, harping on the details of the day, or justifying your decisions? I know I do. I think it helps to know you are not alone. Just the other day, while on a walk with my friend, I realized I was chastising myself for not getting more work done before heading out on a walk - as if I hadn’t been working all day. As if I didn’t deserve to go for a walk because my whole to-do list wasn’t complete. Moms can be harsh on themselves and we tend to expect more of ourselves than is reasonably acceptable. This is one of the reasons I wrote my first book - I was sick of people saying, “I’m such a bad mother,” or “I’m the worst parent ever.” I guess that could be uttered in jest, but it’s telling - we often leap to the negative. And I was one of those people labeling myself without true cause. I mean come on, forgetting to pack a snack really isn’t the worst thing ever.
I tend to see what I have left to do more often than celebrate what I have done. My friend turned to me as we walked and she told me to stop should-ing on myself. It really resonated with me. I should on myself all the time - I shouldn’t eat that, I should’ve run that errand while I was already out, I should be working…. and the list goes on.
Stop Should-ing On Yourself - I have embraced this as my motto for the summer. So this past weekend when all of Sunday had gone by and I had “only” done this and that, instead of announcing (as I often do on Sunday evenings) everything I should have done, I turned on the television with my kids and enjoyed some down time. When I hear myself use the word should, I am attempting to reflect on if it really is a should moment. It’s silly the amount of things I regret in a day. I welcome you to join me (and correct me when you hear me doing it).
Let’s enjoy a summer of cans, wills, oh wells, and maybe laters and stop should-ing on ourselves!