Talking About Gaming Disorder

Here is the third episode of my new adventure, Parenting Beyond the Headlines - a podcast I am hosting with my colleague and friend, Sarah Cody. We are going deep into the headlines and talking with experts about current events, how they affect our families, and how to talk about them in a meaningful and family-friendly ways.

In this episode, we talk to special guest, Michael Robb, Senior Director of Research at Common Sense Media about the recent classification by the World Health Organization of “gaming disorder.” What is the disorder, how likely are kids to develop it, and what should we be looking for? Michael shares some great strategies.

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Parenting in Silence

How ironic that it’s now just two months from the release of my new book, all about the significance of having regular and frequent conversations with your kids, and I’m currently forbidden from speaking. I recently underwent a vocal cord procedure which requires complete voice rest and then a slow re-introduction of speech. I’m at day 16 and I’m finding that the thoughts in my head are now as loud as my voice once was. I dream at night of talking and the dreams are so vivid I wake up clasping my mouth, afraid I have interrupted my healing process.  And as a result of having to remain mum, I’m practicing conversation with my own kids in an entirely new way.

 
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Living in silence has not meant living without a voice. I can speed-write as though taking dictation from own thoughts, and I gesture frantically in lieu of speaking. I was once fluent in American Sign Language (ASL) and am enjoying signing with my daughter who coincidentally is taking ASL as her second language. It’s interesting to me how my children seem more intuitive at times than even my husband, as if they know what I am about to say next. My son will look at me, at first confused at my gesture and then he’ll get it and utter, “oh, empty the dishwasher.” They’ve made a game of it - who best understands mom, a combination of crazy-eyed stares, ASL and charades.

 

I’ve had the chance to do a lot of thinking and to reflect on my role in day-to-day and deeper conversations. Writing everything out or gesturing requires that I think before I speak - every time!  I often find myself pausing before attempting to communicate, taking a moment to consider, is this important enough to go through the whole process of communicating to someone else? Is this significant enough that I should grab my notebook or type it on my phone? This experience is making me appreciate communications as never before.

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Since responding to others takes a new effort and extra time, I often fall behind in conversations, and while that can be extremely frustrating, it also gives me a chance to truly listen. I will often jump for my pen while someone else is mid-sentence or mid-story. But by the time I finish writing, the conversation has moved past the point where my interjection would come appropriately. It’s actually shown me how much I tend toward interruption. I know from my voice therapy that as I begin to talk again I will be expected to take a deep breath and speak slowly. Perhaps this will stop me from jumping in too fast and help me become a better listener. Will I prioritize what to say more meaningfully?

 

Family and friends have been incredibly supportive, sending beautiful flowers and checking in by text (which feels like an even playing ground to me right now). And my children have been keeping my spirits up and taking very good care of me. This has been an extremely challenging experience, including being without a voice during the yearly exercise of preparing my kids to go back to school. My husband has been bearing the true brunt. I am physically and emotionally exhausted after a day of trying to keep up and not only has he been helping with my communications, he has been a rock of support. A typically introverted man, he has been forced to keep the conversation rolling for two, which I can only imagine has been a learning experience for him as much as it has been for me. My hope is that our family will learn just a little more about our communication styles - but I know we’ve already done enough work to have a leg up at the next game night when it comes to playing charades!

Talking About Body Image

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I am very excited to share the second episode of Parenting Beyond the Headlines - a new podcast I am hosting with my colleague, Sarah Cody. Our goal for this show is to help parents talk with their kids about what is going on in the news and how the things going on affect your family. In our work, we’ve seen families struggle with the question of how to process what’s going on in the news. What should we share with our kids and how do we talk about it? What’s too much exposure?

In this episode, we talk to special guest, Denise Barats, certified Life Coach for teen girls and Founder of A Teen Edge. We talk about the recent ban on the swimsuit portion of the Miss America pageant and how media impacts our own body image or our kids’ body image. How do we balance that? We address steps we can take to work with our children on body awareness and self-love.

Using Reflection for a Positive Spin on Parenting

Using Reflection for a Positive Spin on Parenting

It’s easy to hear criticisms of parenting. We hear them in our everyday lives, literally walking down the street, “Do you think your baby is hungry? Is that why she’s crying?” We hear them on the television when reporters highlight the most recent “shocking” story of a parent letting their kid walk to the park or bus stop alone. We can even hear them from our friends who unintentionally (or even intentionally) judge us for allowing our kids to watch too much TV or have a smartphone.

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